He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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