did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
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you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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