Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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