i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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