Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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