i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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