my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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