well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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