The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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