So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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