I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize