I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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