new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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