let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize