What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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