Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care

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  (307): Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care http://tfl.nu/5v6y
  Replies (89) Good night (1923) Bad night (3477) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

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  (519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88
  Replies (17) Good night (6237) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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  (410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad
  Replies (25) Good night (4247) Bad night (668)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (10846) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.

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  (617): Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't. http://tfl.nu/avqq
  Replies (5) Good night (2533) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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  (417): Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road. http://tfl.nu/ry0e
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.

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  (978): I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far. http://tfl.nu/izah
  Replies (7) Good night (669) Bad night (3231) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single

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  (941): sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single http://tfl.nu/m0e2
  Replies (3) Good night (2187) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...

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  (970): He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree... http://tfl.nu/exvr
  Replies (8) Good night (2218) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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  (425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5
  Replies (13) Good night (936) Bad night (3124) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.

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  (949): So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls. http://tfl.nu/e640
  Replies (4) Good night (2097) Bad night (598)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.

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  (937): I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding. http://tfl.nu/schb
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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  (727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2
  Replies (10) Good night (767) Bad night (1388) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!

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  (212): That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS! http://tfl.nu/7667
  Replies (12) Good night (1523) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's the conductor of the struggle bus

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS

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  (413): He's the conductor of the struggle bus (1-413): I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS http://tfl.nu/k1kz
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt

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