I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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