Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize