just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
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It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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