goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize