I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize