xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize