We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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