They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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