I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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