Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I smell like Dick and happiness
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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