I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize