I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize