After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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