so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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