Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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