she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize