OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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