I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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