I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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