Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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