Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize