Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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