I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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