were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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