i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize