saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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