Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize