we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize