There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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