Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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