watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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