Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize