Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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