I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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